Helping Your Child through Difficult Times

Parenthood comes with its perks. The pride of being a caregiver, the innocence of looking at life through the eyes of a child, and the joy of seeing your kids grow into incredible individuals, to name a few.

However, being a parent also means you often have to be a problem solver. Your child may go through difficult times, emotional trauma, mood swings, and even sulk. Perhaps they have been diagnosed with a severe illness or are going through loss. Whether they tell you about their problems or not, you’d naturally feel the longing to help out. But how do you do that?

Here are some tips to support your child through difficult times.

1. Communicate and show love

Your kids may not be open if you’re not very intimate with them. So in times of calm, communicate and show them love so that they can come to you in times of crisis.

2. Listen and talk

If your child is forthcoming, give them the chance to express themselves completely without interrupting. You can also ask your child how they feel. Talking helps to release pent-up emotions and diminish negative feelings, and your child will feel better after sharing their burden with you.

Then tell your child you understand how hard it is for them to be passing through the crisis and how hard it is for you to see them that way. Whatever you say, it should come out gently with love and empathy.

3. Guide positively

After listening to your child and understanding their pain, offer them feedback. Perhaps you have an idea of what they can do to boost their confidence or overcome the problem. Make your suggestions in love and understanding.

Tell your child you trust them and you know they’ve got this.

4. Tell them positive stories

No matter how hard you try, sometimes you don’t just know the solution to your child’s problem. Perhaps it’s a terminal illness, disability, or anxiety over a future activity. Sharing inspiring stories about people in similar situations can help your child find hope again. Hope is powerful and can help your child pull through against all odds.

5. Don’t be in a rush to switch on your problem-solving mode

Many people, especially women and teenage girls, will share their burdens with you not because they want a solution. Refrain from immediately saying “this is what to do,” or, “this is what I’d do if I were you.” Although you can offer that solution later, compassion should come first. Let them know you feel their pain.

Sometimes your child just wants a shoulder to lean on, even though it’s the umpteenth time they’re telling you about their condition. Let them know you can see how much pain they’re passing through. “We’ll find a way out together” can be more soothing.

6. Hold your child

Hugging and holding your child can reassure them that you’re there for them. Express your love for them in words and actions, whether they look gloomy or excited. Especially when your child is battling trauma, grief, or an illness, constantly reminding them of your love and care can help improve their mood.

Sometimes, your child’s grief or trauma may be so critical. Excessive anxiety can interfere with your kid’s health and well-being.

Never hesitate to reach out to a mental healthcare professional when the situation seems beyond you.