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Discovering that you’re pregnant is said to be one of the most wonderful moments of your life. So much so that you spend the next 9 months eagerly anticipating your little one’s arrival. You wonder who they’ll grow up to be, who they’ll look like and how you want to welcome them into the world.
I’m sure that your midwife probably mentioned, that even the most detailed of birthing plans can go awry. Your baby doesn’t care if you’ve created a specific playlist to listen to whilst you go through the stages of labour, they will appear on their own terms! However, there is a difference between a birthing plan going awry, and things going deeply wrong. A staggering amount of women experience traumatic births. Shockingly, even more of them feel isolated, alone and unable to move on from their experiences.
And if, as a result of the traumatic birth, your child has sustained life-changing injuries – click here to discover more about cerebral palsy causes – then it can be even more difficult to come to terms with. With this in mind, I’ve gathered 4 simple ways you can begin to support yourself through your birth trauma.
Remember, if you’re struggling or concerned about your own mental wellbeing then reach out to your doctor or a family member as soon as possible. There are people who want to help you.
It wasn’t your fault. It’s a difficult statement to accept and it’s completely natural to believe that somehow your choices or decisions had an influence over the scenario. It’s simply not the case. And what happened in no way reflects your ability as a parent or a person. It’s not easy to understand but you should be proud of yourself for experiencing such a traumatic event.
It’s normal for relationships to be put under immense strain and pressure after a traumatic birth. Especially because your partner may be struggling too. Your trauma is individual, but it’s important to help each other through this difficult time. The more support you can give each other, the stronger your relationship will be. Don’t be afraid to get in touch with a marriage or relationship counsellor if you feel it’s appropriate.
Whenever anyone experiences a traumatic event, their mental health is always a priority. Sadly, because your trauma is a result of a moment that should have been euphoric one, it’s natural for many mothers to put their mental health to one side to convince themselves that their trauma is in some way invalid. Not forgetting that when you have a small baby to look after, your priorities change! You must reach out and speak to people about your feelings, let them know if you’re struggling, ask for help with your baby. Or, even get in touch with your doctor.
After a traumatic birth, it’s normal to feel a sense of detachment towards your baby. It doesn’t make you a bad person or mother. Don’t put yourself under too much pressure and try to understand that these feelings are simply linked to what happened, they’ll pass. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
This is a collaborative post.
Welcome to Birds and Lilies! I'm Lou: mother, blogger and freelance writer. This is my lifestyle blog, where I talk about motherhood, infertility and IVF, beauty, my love for food and wine, as well as my thoughts about stuff, and our real-life and travel adventures.
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