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Unfortunately, infertility is something that many people in the UK face. According to the NHS, around 1 in 7 couples may have difficulty conceiving. It is also important to recognise the experience of infertility in individuals as well as couples, as not everybody experiences this alongside a partner.
One option chosen by individuals or couples experiencing infertility is surrogacy. Reports show that the number of parents having a baby using a surrogate in England and Wales has almost quadrupled in the last 10 years.
So, what exactly is surrogacy, and what does it involve? Here’s what you need to know.
Surrogacy is when a woman carries and gives birth to a child for the intended parents. The intended parents are the couples or individuals who cannot have the child themselves. For many, it makes the dream of parenthood possible.
The surrogacy can be traditional or gestational. The former involves the surrogate donating her egg, while the latter means she has no genetic link to the child.
Once the surrogate has given birth, the intended parents will need to apply to the court to become the legal parents of the child. This is called a parental order, and it permanently removes the legal parenthood of the surrogate and their spouse.
Understandably, there are important legal and ethical factors that come into play, which is why many seek legal advice from specialist family and children’s solicitors.
Ideally, a surrogacy agreement, with the knowledge that this will not be legally binding, is drawn up. This helps all parties set out their intentions and is helpful for medical appointments or if any controversies arise. It is illegal for third parties, such as a solicitor, to take payment for negotiating a surrogacy contract.
In rare cases, the agreement may not be followed. For example, the surrogate may change their mind and try to keep the baby, which can create a very stressful situation for all involved. The surrogate may also be concerned about the intended parents changing their minds and leaving her with the baby.
It isn’t illegal to pay a surrogate mother for her services in the UK; however, during the parental order application, the court will need to authorise payments made over and above the expenses she has reasonably incurred.
There are also considerations about how involved the intended parents should be during the pregnancy. There is a fine line between the intended parents making helpful suggestions and coming across as controlling. The surrogate’s autonomy is an important factor to consider.
Many consider surrogacy a high-risk emotional experience for surrogate mothers and the intended parents. A turn of events can lead to either party experiencing stress or even trauma in serious cases. It’s important for all parties to seek emotional and psychological support where needed, ranging from a solid network of friends and family to professional help.
There’s an expectation for the intended parents to pay reasonable expenses to the surrogate. These might include the surrogate’s loss of earnings and the cost of appointments to support the pregnancy. There may also be costs involved for treatment if the conception is taking place at a fertility clinic.
Make sure you have a clear overview of costs that may arise. The sooner you establish possible costs, the more transparent the process will be. A road map may also be helpful so that each party understands what’s involved. And don’t forget you can seek legal advice about surrogacy to assist with the smooth running of the process.
This is a collaborative post.
Welcome to Birds and Lilies! I'm Lou: mother, blogger and freelance writer. This is my lifestyle blog, where I talk about motherhood, infertility and IVF, beauty, my love for food and wine, as well as my thoughts about stuff, and our real-life and travel adventures.
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