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I am only 35 years old. But the menopause is something that I have been thinking about a lot recently. In a few days, I will be having my left – and only – ovary removed. After that, I will go through surgical menopause.
Surgical menopause is when surgery, rather than the natural ageing process, causes a woman to go through the menopause. I only currently have one ovary and so when my other one is removed (an Oopherectomy) they will no longer be producing oestrogen in my body and I will enter the menopause.
Whilst I am still in hospital I will be started on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) so that I don’t suffer the effects of menopause straight away, which also means I will still be able to use my frozen embryos and potentially get pregnant in the future if I want to, as I am keeping my uterus, for now at least.
I am very scared about it all. Everything I come across about going through the menopause is very negative and quite scary. I’m really worried I’m going to age more quickly, suffer (even bigger!) mood swings and my body will be starting to shut down and not work as well.
All of this is probably a bit daft and over-dramatic, but I can’t help it. There isn’t a lot of public discussion about menopause and especially from those that are going through it at a younger age, which makes sense obviously.
I recently saw an article about Michelle Heaton who has discussed going through early menopause in the past, and again it was a negative discussion on how it has negatively impacted her relationship with her husband. I mean obviously, there are not going to be loads of people going ‘WOOO I’m going through the menopause in my thirties and it is awesome!’, but still, I would like to see some conversation about it that reassured me that it’s not as bad as it sounds and that in two years time I won’t be a haggard old single woman, bent over, walking with a stick and only my 17 cats to keep me company.
At 35, no I’m not old, but I’m old-er, and I’m at the age where I’m definitely not considered young anymore. I’m not asked for ID every time I buy alcohol, I’m not perved at by young men very often, and I’m now closer to 40 than 30.
I am at an age where I’m thinking about ageing a lot more. I’m thinking that I am not far away from forty and as I remember my own mother being that age, it seems like a proper adult. Someone who has their shit together and knows what they’re doing. But that doesn’t describe me; I do not have any shit together and I haven’t a bloody clue what I’m doing.
And so thinking I might age even faster at this point, is utterly terrifying. I can’t help being scared. I think part of it is just being so uninformed and not knowing anyone personally who has gone through it at my kind of age.
I’ve tried to read up on it all, so that I can be more informed and know what to expect, but every time I do I just get too overwhelmed by it all and a bit panicky and I have to stop. So I’m constantly switching between thinking it might be better to just not know exactly what to expect and to just take it as it comes, and wanting to be as informed as possible.
I’ll be on HRT straight away, which hopefully means that I won’t suffer the effects as much, but I’ve read negative stuff about that before too. I’d always thought that when the time came I would find out as much as I could about HRT and decide then whether I would want to take it. But now I don’t really have a choice if I still want to be able to potentially carry a baby one day.
One rather big plus of all this (probably the only one apart from the not dying of ovarian cancer part) is that I can choose (and bloody well am doing – pun intended) to go on a non-cyclical form of HRT which means that I won’t get periods! That will be bloody nice (or not…also pun intended).
Once I want to use my frozen embryos I would then go on a cyclical form of HRT to get my periods back so that the lining of my womb is maintained. I’m absolutely blown away that all this can be done – aren’t our bodies (and science) incredible?? My periods are going to stop soon (in fact I’ve probably had my last one – I tried to cherish that bad boy but nah) and then I can get them back again at a later date! It seriously blows my mind.
Anyway, as they say on Love Island (yep, I’m quoting Love Island in a post about menopause) – it is what it is. I’ll just have to take each bit as it comes and embrace this new (scary) chapter of my life. It’s all one big adventure isn’t it?! Isn’t it??
Welcome to Birds and Lilies! I'm Lou: mother, blogger and freelance writer. This is my lifestyle blog, where I talk about motherhood, infertility and IVF, beauty, my love for food and wine, as well as my thoughts about stuff, and our real-life and travel adventures.
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This is a really timely post as I’ve been thinking about the menopause a lot too lately! I am 40 now, with no children, so really need to get cracking if I’m going to do it. But the menopause thing is terrifying. I keep thinking every strange little ‘symptom’ I have must be a sign that it’s starting. When I google it symptoms seem very vague. I agree that there’s not an awful lot of info put out there about what to expect at the very start of menopause. I just hear the occasional horror story from women who had it really bad. I like to hold on to the (unfounded) belief that most women sail through it. It is really amazing what doctors can do nowadays though! Best of luck with your surgery…and enjoy being period-free woohoo!
I started the menopause at 44. I can understand how scared you must be, to have to make such a big decision, I would have been too. It was a big negative for me when it first started, obviously getting older is scary and you’re made to confront it when you hit menopause, it’s confusing, emotional, there are days when it’s a kind of madness, hazy head, a bit of depression, some days just writing a shopping list was a mental challenge. I’m not painting a happy picture I know. But, it did make me completely revalue my life, friends, habits, there wasn’t room in my brain for falseness, my patience had gone. It made me spring clean my life, strip away what I didn’t want anymore. At 46 I started a course of health(ier) eating and a regular exercise program that I could do at home, my doctor recommended me, as I was getting depressed and close to taking anti depressants, that was the turning point for me. If I could give you one solid piece of advice it would be exercise, regular, sustained exercise, just 30 minutes 4/5 days a week, it’s a miracle cure. I know it’s cliched and I do preach this a lot, but I promise it will be your saviour. I’m 48 now and I honestly see the menopause as a rebirth, clear out and start again. It’s just a pause, time to stop and think, get rid and start again. The only negative is what we have been brainwashed to believe. Once you accept it, embrace it and deal with it, it gets better. Getting old isn’t a bad thing, there are many other joys that take the place of youth, you just can’t see it at first. I wish you all good and positive things on your journey x
So glad I saw this post! I had an emergency partial hysterectomy four years ago (kept my ovaries but took my womb) and I’ll be going through menopause at the ripe old age of 26/27! I’m absolutely terrified and dreading it, especially as I don’t really know what the plan will be regarding HRT yet. I feel like we should start a club.
Saph x
http://www.simplysaph.co.uk