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You’ll be delighted that your friend or family member has brought a new baby into the world. However, while excitement may be your experience, your loved one will have a different experience. They’re about to commence a heroic job, and they’ll need as much support as they can get. It’s important to keep in mind that new parents need a different type of support than what friends and family members usually provide. In this post, we’ll take a look at a few ways you can support new parents during those difficult first few months.
Parents-to-be are usually well-prepared for the arrival of their baby. But they’re unlikely to be completely ready. Unless they have a specific due date, they’ll likely be caught off-guard when they have to go to the hospital to give birth. Expecting parents have to rush out the door, and they often leave behind a home that’s not as spotless as it could be. While they’re in the hospital, look at taking the time to deeply clean and organize your friend’s home — they’ll love returning home to a perfect home, trust us!
People want to help their loved ones, but oftentimes, the help they provide isn’t as helpful as it could be. For example, while it can be nice to send flowers, at some point, many parents begin to resent another arrival of flowers, which require care and take up space. Rather than trying to second-guess what might put a smile on their face, it’s usually best to ask them directly. They’ll have a better sense of what will help them more than you do! When you feel like being supportive, ask them directly what they want from you. It could really be anything at all, but at least you’ll know that it’s genuinely something they want.
If there’s one thing that new parents don’t want to do, it’s prepare healthy meals. They take time and require cleaning up afterwards. New parents would rather do anything else. You can help your friends by making some freezable meals that they can keep in their freezer. That way, they’ll always have something healthy to eat. If you suspect that your friend is a picky eater, then ask them what they want/don’t want. There are plenty of freezable meals that aren’t lasagne!
It’s worth checking that your friend has enough space in their freezer to accommodate the meals you make for them. While they may appreciate the gesture of receiving three weeks’ worth of food, it’ll just be a headache if they have to make space for it.
A new parent’s needs are pretty simple. They want to eat, and they want to sleep. In this sense, they’re quite similar to their new baby! Of course, they won’t have anywhere near as many opportunities to sleep as their new boy or girl. You can provide an invaluable level of support by providing opportunities for them to get a little shuteye. Even fifteen minutes of rest can make a world of difference. You’ll need to know how to hold a newborn, both so you can look after the baby effectively if they’re awake and so your friend/family member has peace of mind that you know what you’re doing. Any moment of rest you can give will be well-received; in fact, new parents often want this gift more than they want another teddy or bouquet of flowers.
Sometimes, it’s better to just do rather than ask. You should ask your friend what they need on some occasions, but on others, what needs to be done will just be obvious. If you’re at their home and you notice that there’s a big pile of dishes in the sink or surfaces haven’t been wiped down, then you won’t need to ask — just do it. They’re not going to mind that you’re taking an extra task off their plate. This is especially helpful because some parents are overly polite and will tell you not to worry if you ask them if you should do something.
New parents receive a flood of messages and support during the first few weeks after they’ve given birth. But after that, things begin to drop off significantly. Parents can begin to feel a little isolated and disconnected because all of their energy is spent at home, looking after their baby. Providing ongoing support can let them know that they still have people looking out for them. There are multiple ways to do this — turning up with a treat a month after they’ve given birth can be a great boost, though sometimes it’s as simple as just texting to let them know that they’re on your mind.
It’s probably more challenging for first-time parents than existing parents, but keep in mind that those parents will have to deal with a whole other set of issues. While they might have the experience required to manage the first few months, they’ll also have to juggle the demands of their older children. You can help by offering to help out wherever possible. For example, you could take their children to and from school or offer to take them out for an afternoon so the parents can get some rest.
Finally, perhaps the best gift you can give new parents is permission to be selfish. They’re going to be wrapped up in their own little universe for a while, and they just won’t have the space to ask about what’s going on in your life. Just let them be selfish for a little while without any expectations. They’ll be out of the whirlwind of their new baby soon enough.
It takes a village to raise a child. As a good friend or family member, it’s your job to help new parents as much as you can. This is one of the most stressful periods of their lives, and they’ll be very grateful that you were there to support them.
This is a collaborative post.
Welcome to Birds and Lilies! I'm Lou: mother, blogger and freelance writer. This is my lifestyle blog, where I talk about motherhood, infertility and IVF, beauty, my love for food and wine, as well as my thoughts about stuff, and our real-life and travel adventures.
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