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From when I was very young I knew I wanted to be a mother one day, in fact, I would say that I was desperate to grow up as fast as possible so that I could start having babies. I loved playing with my dolls, looking after them and holding them in my arms, and if I ever got the chance to hold a real-life baby then I was a very happy girl.
Fast-forward to me being 22 years old, and having to have one of my ovaries and tubes removed during what was supposed to be a quick operation to have a look inside me after some horrendous pains, and it was suddenly clear to me that I wanted to try for a baby straight away, even though I was pretty young still.
I had been told by my consultant that even though my fertility shouldn’t be affected at that point, that it may be as I got older, so the sooner the better to have my babies. Luckily I also had a willing long-term boyfriend, so even though we ordinarily wouldn’t have started trying so soon, we were both very happy and excited to. We’d finished University, and wanted to buy our first house together as soon as possible.
So, we started trying to get pregnant. And it just didn’t happen. Almost four years and a lot of monthly upset later, and I still hadn’t managed to get pregnant at all. We started seeing a fertility consultant and went through IVF and all that entails, and we were ridiculously happy to find out I was finally pregnant.
Sadly, it wasn’t meant to be, and a day after I told my family I was pregnant, I lost the baby. It was devastating and took me a while to be ready to try again. Around 5 months later we had IVF again and were over the moon to find out it had worked this time too. This time, thankfully all went well and in January 2012, when I was 27, I gave birth to my wonderful daughter, who is now 7 (going on 14).
Everything we went through was completely worth it to have my daughter, and I would do it all again. But infertility is really hard; the constant disappointment every month when you get your period, and then fertility treatment – the daily injections, hospital appointments, the stress of waiting during each part of the process and finding out if any of your eggs have fertilized and then if they survive each day, the stress on your relationship – it’s all insanely tough going.
Often people think that they will get pregnant quickly, and are surprised when it doesn’t happen immediately, but it is quite normal for it to take up to a year. According to the NHS, only 20% of couples will fall pregnant after one month, 70% after six months, and 85% within a year. But 1 in 6 couples in the UK are affected by infertility, so it is something that affects a lot of people.
The support and information you receive whilst trying to get pregnant or going through fertility treatment is invaluable, and can really make a difference to how you feel, as well as hopefully helping to increase your chances of getting pregnant. There is so much information and advice out there that it can be completely overwhelming and a bit scary too.
Luckily, if you do struggle to conceive, then there are lots of things you can do to improve your chances and to help you along the way during what can be a very tough journey.
It’s a subject that I’m very passionate about, so I love what Dr Fertility are doing, to try and raise awareness and educate people in order to help them conceive. Dr Fertility aims to simplify all of the process, and provide you with the fertility information you need, as well as the products and tools that can help you with your journey, plus the emotional support that you need – all in one place.
They have also just created a guide for couples who are thinking of starting a family or those who have recently started trying to get pregnant – “The Couple’s Guide to Getting Pregnant”. The guide offers the following 5 simple steps:
Step 1: Prepare your bodies
Step 2: Understand the best time for baby dancing
Step 3: The fertility products you can use
Step 4: How to maintain fun on your fertility journey
Step 5: Knowing when it is time to see your Doctor
I would have loved to have read something like this when I was trying to get pregnant. It gives clear information that is easy to follow, without being overwhelming, and it’s great having it all together in a straightforward guide. There’s also further up to date information available from experts on the Dr Fertility website if you want to find out even more, as well as the products that you might want to use to help you when trying to conceive.
Struggling to get pregnant is a really hard thing to go through – not knowing when it might finally happen for you or if it will happen at all, whilst watching seemingly everyone around you get pregnant easily. I found the years I was trying to be so difficult, as well as going through fertility treatment, but it was all worth it in the end. I see it all now as just the journey I had to go on to get my amazing daughter and just a part of my story, but when you’re right in it, it’s hard to see it that way.
You can get “The Couple’s Guide to Getting Pregnant” here.
This is a paid partnership with Dr Fertility, but all words and opinions are my own. See my full disclosure policy here.
Welcome to Birds and Lilies! I'm Lou: mother, blogger and freelance writer. This is my lifestyle blog, where I talk about motherhood, infertility and IVF, beauty, my love for food and wine, as well as my thoughts about stuff, and our real-life and travel adventures.
Contact: [email protected]
