Talking to Teens About Divorce

Divorce is never easy for anyone and it can be hard to admit that your relationship isn’t working anymore. But it can be even more of a challenge if you have children. Teens can experience a range of emotions when it comes to dealing with changes to their family unit, so knowing how to communicate with them and support them through these changes is the key to helping them cope. 

Talking to Teens About Divorce

Be honest

Don’t lie or make up stories to ease the burden. The best approach when you’re talking to a teen about this issue is to tell the truth. It can be a shock to learn about their parents’ divorce, and pretending that everything will be alright might not sit well with them as it may well not be alright in their eyes. For this reason, taking an honest perspective and admitting that things might change is the best way to handle this situation. Often, in these situations, it can be tempting to ease the worry by making promises that are later difficult to keep. Instead, just let them know that you still love them, you’re there to support them and that you’ll do what you can to make the transition as easy as possible for them. 

Let them know early on

Ideally, you should speak to your kids together as a couple and do so early on. Their reaction is likely to be strong but having you both there to show that you’re still working together to raise your teen can help. It also gives your teen the chance to ask you both questions and to work through the answers as a family. It shows them that you’re all still a team, whatever the relationship status might be. The earlier you can let your teen know the situation, the better, as you don’t want them to feel as though they’ve been excluded from such a big lifestyle change. You can also take the help of an attorney to make things a bit easier to disclose. For more information, click here.

Don’t blame your partner

Divorce can be messy and you might be angry or hurt. But while the temptation is there to blame your partner and put everything on them, you need to remember that they’re still your child’s parent. Regardless of what has occurred between you as a couple, you need to help your children come to terms with their feelings on this big life change, and trying to score points against your wife or husband isn’t the way to achieve that. The end goal is to have as positive a relationship as possible, both with each other and with your children, to keep your family unit in a good place and make co-parenting easier. 

Make time for them

Your teen might be having a tough time dealing with the news of your break-up, so make time for them and spend time with them. The important thing is that you let them know you’re still there for them as a parent. You might notice that they become more clingy and even regress slightly, but that’s perfectly normal. They’re just seeking reassurance and comfort, so spending time with them and doing fun things together to take their mind off the situation can help them come to terms with it and reassures them that the things they enjoy doing with you aren’t going to change. 

Let them ask questions

Some questions your teen has might seem obvious or even irrelevant to you, but let them ask. They might have assumptions based on what their friends have been through or what they’ve seen in the media, so allowing them the opportunity to ask questions will give you the chance to either confirm or deny their suspicions, which will put their minds at ease. Again, honesty is important here – if you don’t know the answer, don’t pretend or make promises that you can’t keep. It’s better to be truthful and work through the answers together rather than disappoint them in the future. 

Final thoughts

Divorce can impact teens in a number of ways. They may have been expecting it for some time or it might come as a shock to them. But whatever the outcome, the important thing is that you maintain communication with your child and let them know that you and your partner will still be there to support them, whatever the future holds.