Notes on February

Hello! How are you?

This is probably going to be quite a rambly post as I just feel like sitting down and writing a post about life in general and what we’ve (not) been up to lately.

I’ve been poorly for the best part of the last two weeks and I’m at the point where it’s got me rather down and I’m feeling very sorry for myself. The first week I had a really bad, constant migraine that would not quit, and this past week I’ve had some kind of lovely cold/sickness bug hybrid. I’m just left with this horrible cold now, as well as a nice puffy face, dry, sore, peely nose, and better abs from all the coughing.

It’s got me so anxious because I haven’t been able to work properly, therefore I’m not making money, I have had too much time to lie in bed alone with my thoughts, which is never good for me, and it has all taken so long to get any better at all, and I’ve absolutely had enough frankly!

My mental health hasn’t been too bad recently, but this has all just got me feeling so low, and I find it so hard not knowing when I will be better and just being desperate to get back to normal life and my routines again.

I forced myself out of the house on Tuesday as I had a hair appointment I so wanted to keep, and as I couldn’t cancel everything forevermore, but apart from that and a couple of school runs and a fun trip to Lidl where I bought the entirety of the middle aisles, I have remained indoors, basking in my own woe.

In between all this, we spent a really lovely day at our friends’ house for his birthday and the kids and adults all had a great time. We went for brunch but it fast became a boozy one and I helped them drink all of their Prosecco and outstayed my welcome. We ended up being there the whole day and I had such a good time. I don’t see my friends as often as I would like ⁠— we’re all so busy ⁠— so it was lovely to spend so much time together and it was so nice for the kids to get together again.

Ava’s the oldest, as she usually is outside of school, but she certainly isn’t the boss! I keep encouraging her to stand up for herself more and trying to get her to have more confidence, but it’s hard. She worries so much about really little things (always at bedtime!) and I wish I could take them away for her. I didn’t have a lot of confidence when I was young and I’ve always worried a lot, so I guess she’s just like her mama, but I wish I could help her to have the confidence I never had.

February is my busiest month for birthday’s; with my mum, dad, step-dad and now my niece too all having birthday’s ⁠— all the people that I obviously buy presents for and so it’s a busy and expensive month! I can’t believe my niece is going to be one already; that seems absolutely crazy. I swear she was a newborn asleep in my arms two minutes ago.

How are you and what’s been going on in your life lately?